On Monday 19th March I’m doing a live webchat for the Guardian bookclub. Luckily ‘live’ in this case means mute – apparently I only have to type my chat – which is just as well as I have lost my voice. It’s never happened before, but is a gift for all family and friends who can now hold forth on all manner of subjects without fear of being contradicted. I will make up for my present silence by typing like fury, whether I know what I am talking about or not.

One reader of my book said they were now inspired to start teaching billiards, something they are ignorant of, by having read about LD’s eagerness to teach the same to Theodore ‘though incidentally’ Theodore said, ‘I never knew if he actually knew how to play.’ On this basis I will be offering classes in snowboarding and cello playing as soon as I can speak again.

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